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Shenzhen Safari Ⅵ

Colour is more important than you could ever imagine #

Red is the colour of hatred, anger, power, aggression, adrenaline, worry, jealousy, murder, blood; faux-love, hearts, strawberries, stress, lust; and Mario.

In theory, red is not my colour. My skin is olive undertone. Tall, dark with brooding thoughts, ever cogitating. Autumnal, exuberant and fiercely loyal. I have no raw red. Not mainlining it in any case. My mind is orange and purple.

Orange is… #

Orange is rare in nature. The colour of life in egg yolks, sunsets, and golden hours. Of warmth, love, and waves of slow and low, bass-like energy. A certain type of healing.

Purple is… #

Purple is regal and deep in thought and artistry. Creativity comes from the darkest, richest recesses of my mind. The schisms of neurons. No-clip pinballs gliding trails with phantom traces across regions and hemispheres, making fast connections between senses and memories.

Sometimes, these sparse thoughts and ideas combine beautifully to become nodes of understanding and value. And sometimes I can preempt the course of the pinballs in my head, and steer them to hit droplets within regional clouds. My poor pinballs often get launched into storms, and polarised or lost.

Furthermore, the cleverness of my overlay, my mind-reading the machinery of others, their state of emotion, their motivations, their wavelength; well it can fail completely. Then I am not so clever after all.

Bah, humbug… #

Life is filled with uncertainty. Once I tried to squash it all. I followed a techno-religion with structures and processes. A firm understanding of how the world worked, how I could bring order to chaos, and enlighten others in my wake.

How naïve. To think that humans are robots. Yet, in a way, we are. Slaves to our thoughts, emotions, and the consequences of our actions. By raising the level of our awareness and understanding in ourselves, and in others, we can raise our level of consciousness. And you could argue these are the tools by which we can lift our lives from surviving to thriving: learning new stuff, using it in life, and checking if it works for us or not.

[Redux] Purple is… #

But what if your hormones and emotions become barriers? What if the reins of your focus continually escape your wet, frost-bitten hands? The carriage of learning, of memories, rattles forth through dark woods, infested with demons and treacherous paths, manifested by another part of your own self.

Your beautiful mind at war with the harmful spectral beings and doppelgangers you have projected internally. The theatre in your mind threatening to bale over the next blind summit or fog-obscured cliff.

This is the colour purple. Not orange. Not green. Not yellow. Not red.

Shenzhen Safari Ⅵ: Non-tendo iPhone 12 mini Phone Case #

The material realm lacks proof of such un-graspable horrors. It makes up for it forty-fold, globally and locally, with tangible ones instead.

One of which, I’m holding onto right now. This Non-Nintendo or Non-tendo iPhone 12 mini phone case.

How else can I do a better job of torturing and kill my iPhone battery, than enrobing it in the choking red embrace of another wedge of paper, questionably-soldered batteries, and fish-scented plastic?

The Non-tendo Good? #

It claims to be “HD screen proof”, “explosion proof”, “smudge proof”.

The Non-tendo also has a Micro-USB charging port (and tiny cable), and on/off + reset buttons, in addition to the typical Game Boy layout.

The screen is bright and clear, with sharp pixels. The D-pad is mushy but responsive, as are the face buttons.

There are 168 games, with a few non-licensed curiosities you could return to, such as Billiard and Long Jump.

The Non-tendo Bad? The Non-tendo Ugly? #

The chunky chiptune intro/language screen has a jarring beginning through grating speakers, and on power-on or reset initiates at medium-volume. You have to click through high then off each time.

Oh, and the volume toggle is where the start button usually is (and the Start button is where the select button usually is).

The 168 games are mostly terrible.

Also, there’s no 3.5mm jack. LOL.

Buy-tendo? #

I can’t find the exact Non-tendo I have, though this may turn up identical? Buy your very own > iPhone Non-tendo case < here.

Non-tendo 168-in-1 iPhone 12 mini Phone Case

Let’s take a trip inside… #

Here are the guts. Nice and easy to access after pulling off the paper and spider-glue.

Non-tendo cover

Non-tendo inside back-view

Non-tendo inside front-view

Shenzhen Safari: Sad Ending #

Happy rest of your 2023, and; if I don’t see you again:
Enjoy the rest of your pathetic life.

Shenzhen Safari: Happy Ending #

For the rest of you, I’ve got some more tricks and treats in store.
See you in 2024!

Thanks for reading Shenzhen Safari of .

Every second month throughout 2023, I reviewed a choice piece of AliExpress’ gaming hardware, carefully appraising each gift horse’s mouth, teeth, mane, and muscles.

  1. Shenzhen Safari : Pocket Multi Game (PMG) 99 in 1
  2. Shenzhen Safari : NES 143 in 1 Cart
  3. Shenzhen Safari : Data Frog SF2000
  4. Shenzhen Safari : Wireless PS2 Controller (2.4Ghz | Translucent)
  5. Shenzhen Safari : 3D Neon Sign Lamp Headphone Stand
  6. Shenzhen Safari : Non-tendo 168-in-1 iPhone 12 mini Phone Case